lingered on our photo

a little too long

maybe it’s ok

maybe it’s not wrong

taking time

looking back

borrowed travel

to the past

see our smiles

see our bond

what a shame

they didn’t last

searched your name

again last night

even though i do not miss you

nosy head

stupid choice

you went backwards

back to boy

no regrets

no effects

what a shame

they’re nothing left

they were young

they were eager

just a year those feelings lingered

play those games

in your head

whisper to yourself

“he’s dead”

justify

this road you took

don’t look back

DO NOT LOOK!

say it twice

in your head

let it slip out

peek instead

there’s no boo

there’s no joy

what’d you find-

no man in boy?

he is gone

so are you

when you left

girl, you grew

two paths beckoned

one you followed

paths divided

both unfollowed

split the albums

split the strings

split the mem’ries

mute his name

leave the gifts

leave the church

leave the city

leave the pain

baggage heavy

weary travel

deep weight lifting

unexplained

flying faster

flying farther

flying lighter

running harder

cross the borders

cross her name

cross religion

cancel faith

break the ties

break the boundaries

break the bored up

stop your wond’ring

there’s no past

only tomorrow

will it last

or just bring sorrow?

life’s a blur

so don’t keep searching

do not settle

stop your reaching

don’t look back

don’t imagine

do not wander

past eleven

don’t give in

for a fleeting

don’t imagine

future meetings

time’s expensive

oops, it’s gone!

where’d they go?

oh, they’re done!

shut the door

burn the key

borrowed travel:

memories

As I rediscovered the magic of this song, I was writing open letters to people whose relationships have changed. I listened once on Spotify, then again with Halsey's lyric video, then once more with Marshmello's. As I read the lyrics, listening to it the second time, I couldn't help but tear up. I didn't realize how sad it was--at least to me. Be Kind reminded me of a struggling battle I had with a friend (read more about it here). It stings but it's also comforting and encouraging to see mainstream artists like Halsey and Marshmello making music beyond romantic relationships. I mean...music is art, and it can be translated any way the listener wishes. And to me personally, it hits deep with the resonating message.

Honestly, I'm so exhausted over this relationship, but it sure is encouraging to know there are other people who go through the same relationship pains as I do. Dear reader, if you are reading these words with a heaviness in your heart over the loss or status of a relationship like this song describes, know this: one, I am here for you. Message me if you ever need a friend to talk to. Two, you are not alone, no matter how invisible it may seem. Most people don't showcase their struggles. And three, I pray you'll look upon this painful relationship with mercy and recognize the beauty and lessons you've gained from it. Upwards and onwards.

With love and kindness,

Kaitlyn

I was scrolling through my feed on the gram and the first lines of this poem caught my eye. Written by my dear friend, Kerrie, whom I used to go to church with, she so eloquently and accurately captured the essence of relationships and the complexity of our inner selves striving to be a good friend.

Is there someone in your mind

that rolls around in there?

She did this to me, how could he?

It simply is not fair.

Just stewing on your anger

in your mind you hit replay

and think of all the sassy things

if you had the gall you'd say.

This thing they do annoys me.

This past hurt I can't let go.

You say to just forgive them?

But how do I let that go?

Relationships are tricky,

two impure people side by side.

Inevitably you'll be hurt

sin and selfishness can't hide.

Each of us has felt it-

anger, control, bitterness, greed.

Jealousy, envy, pride,

is what all our conflicts breed.

But there is hope that's stronger

and can free us from this snare

of being controlled by another

when we let bitterness linger there.

A hope of grace and rescue

from ourselves and what we let stew.

We can put to death this trap

and let peace and love ensue. 

Keep your heart with vigilance

for from it flow springs of life.

We all have hearts that need to change

if any relationship be made right.

The Giver of grace is willing

he hears your whisper and your shout.

And by his Spirit's power

he can change you from the inside out. 

The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life.

None who run to this fountain will thirst.

For we will walk in newness of life

because Christ was raised to glory first.

If he can conquer sin and death

and reign and rule at God's right hand,

then there is no relationship

that is too hard for his command.

Whatever is true, whatever is lovely

whatever is just and pure,

our God has made a way for peace

as we humble ourselves, he'll restore.

Our hope is in our Savior

who has perfectly related to all.

And because he's walked our trials

he thinks our conflicts no thing small.

Freedom is found in his love

and in his lavish grace we stand.

As we extend this grace to friends

with a generous open hand.

Let compassion rule the day.

Humility, meekness, patience, prayer too.

Look for the good in this person

Be at peace as much as depends on you.

In Christ we have a hope 

it has called us out by name.

An inheritance of glory

where none will be put to shame.

And one day when we get there

Oh how enlightened our hearts will be.

All the wrestling with each other

a blip on the radar of eternity.

Kerrie DeBerry